10 Wife Jokes

01. The Muffin Experiment

One day, I decided to surprise my wife by baking her some muffins. I followed the recipe to the letter and put them in the oven to bake. But when they came out, they were rock hard and inedible. Puzzled, I realized I'd accidentally used salt instead of sugar. I decided to try them out on the neighbor's dog, who refused to eat them. So, I went outside and threw them into the garden. To my surprise, the next day I saw a sign on the fence that read "Delicious Muffins. $1 each." 

02. The Disappearing Dinner 

I came home from work and found my wife crying in the kitchen. "What's wrong?" I asked. "I spent all day cooking your favorite meal, but when I turned around to get the vegetables from the fridge, the whole chicken disappeared!" I chuckled, "Don't worry, I saw the cat running out of the house with it in his mouth." 

03. The Perfect Outfit 

My wife was getting ready for a party and asked for my opinion on her outfit. "You look beautiful," I said, "but don't you think you should wear something else?" "Why?" she asked. "Because the dress you're wearing looks just like the tablecloth," I replied. 

04. The Unwanted Guest 

My wife was preparing dinner when she heard a knock at the door. She opened it to find my best friend standing there. "Hey, can I come in?" he asked. "My husband's not here, but I guess you can wait for him," she said. "Actually," my friend replied, "I'm here to see you." 

05. The Stubborn Package 

My wife ordered a package online and waited eagerly for it to arrive. But when it did, she realized it was too big to fit through the door. She tried for hours to force it through, but it wouldn't budge. Eventually, I came home and asked what she was doing. "I'm trying to get this package inside," she said. "Why don't you just open it outside?" I asked. "I can't," she replied, "it says 'Do not open outside.'" 

06. The TV Remote 

My wife was watching TV when I came in and asked for the remote. "Sure," she said, "but why do you need it?" "I want to see what's on," I replied. "But there's nothing on," she said. "That's why I need the remote," I replied. 

07. The Scented Candle 

My wife bought a scented candle to help her relax after a long day. But when she lit it, she realized the scent was so strong it made her eyes water. She decided to move it to the living room, but I complained about the smell. "It's too strong," I said. "I can smell it from the garage." "That's weird," she replied. "I can't even smell it from the kitchen." 

08. The Cake Disaster 

My wife decided to bake me a birthday cake from scratch. She followed the recipe carefully but accidentally added salt instead of sugar. When I tasted it, I grimaced and said, "This is terrible! How much salt did you put in?" "Just a pinch," she replied. "Well," I said, "next time, just pinch a little less."

09. The Lost Keys

One day, my wife and I were about to leave the house when she realized she couldn't find her keys. We searched high and low but couldn't find them anywhere. Frustrated, she said, "I don't understand how they could just disappear like this." I replied, "Well, you did put them in a 'safe' place, remember?" "What do you mean?" she asked. "You said you were putting them in a safe place so you wouldn't lose them," I said. "But now you can't remember where that safe place is."

10. The Traffic Jam

My wife and I were stuck in traffic on the way to a dinner party. She was getting increasingly agitated and kept checking her watch. Finally, she turned to me and said, "I can't believe we're going to be late. I told everyone we'd be there at 7." I replied, "Well, at least we have an excuse now. We can blame it on the traffic." She thought for a moment and then said, "No, I don't want to do that. I'll just tell them the truth: you took too long getting ready."