10 Marriage Jokes

01. The Secret to a Happy Marriage

Wife: "What's the secret to a happy marriage?" Husband: "I can't reveal that, it's a secret."

02. The Perfect Match

They say a successful marriage is based on the husband being the head of the house and the wife being the neck. Because the neck can turn the head in any direction.

03. The Anniversary Present

Husband: "What do you want for our anniversary?" Wife: "A divorce." Husband: "I wasn't planning on spending that much money."

04. The Marriage License

Marriage is like a license. At first, you get it to drive each other crazy. Later, you use it to avoid getting pulled over by the police.

05. The Marriage Vows

Marriage vows should be changed to, "I promise to love, honor, and put up with you through thick and thin, until death do us part."

06. The Marriage Advice

The best marriage advice is to never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight all night.

07. The Marriage Game

Marriage is like a game of chess. The queen protects the king. The king can move only one step at a time. And the bishop is always diagonally opposed.

08. The Marriage Anniversary

My husband and I had a great anniversary. We exchanged heartfelt gifts. He gave me a vacuum cleaner, and I gave him a new set of tools.

09. The Marriage Proposal

Husband: "I proposed to my wife on a bended knee." Friend: "That's so romantic!" Husband: "Not really. I tripped and fell."

10. The Marriage License Plate

The best way to sum up a marriage is with a personalized license plate. His says, "HERS," and hers says, "OURS."